June 26, 2017
Foot of Glen Pass to White Fork Creek/Stream/Fucking Torrent
Pacific Crest Trail Thru-Hike: Day 52

Maybe it’s that we got to White Fork at 6pm. Maybe it’s that we spent all day fording rivers and lake outlets that were swollen beyond imagination. Fording Rae Lakes outlet and falling through the ice, then swimming the rest of the way in a freezing lake. Fording Arrowhead outlet directly over a waterfall. Forced to ford Baxter Creek by walking upstream against the whitewater current in order to have a place to climb out. Facing creek after creek after creek that were raging with whitewater, yet somehow not severe enough to warrant even having a name.

Whatever it is, it feels as if there is another creek lurking around every corner, always another whitewater ford. Waiting. Waiting for us. This creek, White Fork, isn’t on the ford report, and it is a fucking monster. As it flows right now, everything says this creek is not crossable, so we’re camping directly next to it in hopes that it will go down overnight. The torrent is so massive that Alex and I have to shout to hear each other.

Alex tells me not to worry. But if we can’t ford some random creek that doesn’t even warrant being put on the ford report, we’re literally stuck out here.

Everything out here sets my nerves off, and it’s hard to experience a beautiful, clear, open section of trail and then go back to flooded, snow-covered ice sheets and frozen-over lakes. The hazards are around every single corner. Like I’m in a real life haunted house and raging torrents or sketchy snow crossings are waiting around every corner to try and kill me.

Glen Pass went really well. We got over and down in less than two hours. Unfortunately, I tried to glissade when it was way too early in the morning (super icy). I flipped a few feet into the glissade and barrel rolled about 100 feet down the side of an icy mountain. Luckily I’m okay, but within two hours of that I fell waist deep into an icy lake, and Alex fell neck deep.

He is handling all of this a lot better than me. It doesn’t help that we’ve lost the family, and are also dealing with loss and abandonment from that. I’m so hopeful about this creek ahead, but really feeling trapped and doomed. I’ve been told many times “the trail provides,” but why would it provide for someone who made the dumb ass decision to come back out here. I’m so tumultuous inside.