August 20, 2017
Mile 1770.9 to Mile 1798.9
Pacific Crest Trail Thru-Hike: Day 107

Had some weird (possessiveness?) issues when Sam started BFF’ing with Vice and Boathouse. I know it's not rational, but I just felt this deep stab of feeling left out, like they were the funny cool kids and I had nothing worth listening to. I can be really sensitive to that and get really defensive really fast, isolating myself so that I can’t be isolated by others. It was so intense today, and it’s like it takes over and I have no control, I just default to isolating myself instead of staying open and vulnerable. I can get really short and intolerant with people when that happens, and it was exactly like that. Like everyone was camping together and I said I wanted to push a few more miles, and really it was because I felt so damn left out that I wanted to choose to be isolated instead of have isolation thrust upon me. I hate it, but I don’t know how to make it stop.

Things to remember about today

Tomorrow, we have lots of Crater Lake BS to deal with, but I am in FANTASTIC spirits because Mark and Corey are coming to get us at Shelter Cove!!
No updates on road walks around fire closures, but our first is tomorrow, 17 (?) miles into Mazama Village at Crater Lake.
Mom and Dad cheered us on over the phone today. It felt like they finally joined the sidelines ringing their cowbells!
Vice and Boathouse caught up now and are walking in our bubble.
Met Speck and UB
Solar eclipse tomorrow. What the heck is Crater Lake going to be like on eclipse day?!
Finished Book 3 in Chronicles of Narnia, on to Book 4 with the nice surprise that it’s narrated by Jeremy Irons
Smoky all day. Still. Not much view due to the smoke. Not much air due to the smoke.
I love peppermint oil, though I often put too much on and then it burns my eyes.
Everyone lately has been talking about how remarkable our food is. Not sure why it’s taken so long, but it’s nice for someone to take notice! It makes me feel proud.